2 kids, 2 back surgeries and living for 7 years in Alaska (when you have a bad back the last thing you want to do is go out in the cold and slip on the ice), my figure is not that of my 20-year-old self anymore. I loathe most pictures of me. There’s a reason my profile picture has not changed on Facebook since I started my Facebook account. It’s one of the only ones I like. It’s rare that I will purposely get in a picture. I keep telling myself I will do it when I’ve lost 20 (or 40) lbs. That occasionally happens but when it does I still don’t feel comfortable in front of the camera.
On my recent trip to Scotland and Ireland, I realized I couldn’t allow this to happen during this trip. This was just too important. This had been my dream since I was at least 5, if not younger. I needed to photograph myself enjoying this. These were memories that would last me for a lifetime. It wasn’t easy. But I did it.
I’d love to tell you that it became easier the more I did it. I’d love to tell you that through this experience I learned to love the way my body looks. But the truth is neither of those things happened. But I have the pictures of the beautiful places that I saw and loved, I have those beautiful memories and I can continue learning to live with pictures of myself. That is a win in my book.